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Just Turn Around and Walk Away

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Tell us about a time you did a 180 — changed your views on something, reversed a decision, or acted in a way you ordinarily don’t.

via Daily Prompt: 180 Degrees.

Isn’t it funny how the faceless word of blogging can give you the courage to reveal things that you haven’t told many people in your life?  This is one of those things.

My senior year of high school, I dated a very very bad man.  He was controlling, even taking a job at the same place I was working so he could keep an eye on me.  For just about the whole time he and I were “together,” he was also “going with” another girl.  A freshman.  And of course, all of her friends took it out on me.  At the same time, he was already planning my entire future.  He was emotionally abusive, threatening to kill himself if I ever left him.

It was the worst time of my life.

Yet, for some reason, I didn’t “break-up” with him.  I loved him.  Or what I perceived was love in my 17 year-old brain.  And I was terrified of what he could do.  I believed all his threats to his own safety.

He was threatened by my going away to college.  As the time drew closer, he grew increasingly more controlling.  He frequently would tell me that he would not allow me to go.  I began to be worried for my safety.  But, I told him that of course we would stay together.  That I’d be home for breaks.  That he could visit me.  That we could make it work.

Then came the day of my 180 turn.

The day I knew I had to get out of the relationship.

Four days before I was to leave for college.

The day he attempted to slit his wrists – in front of me – as an attempt to get me to stay.

The day, when as I was trying to stop him from doing it, he shoved me and I fell backwards and knocked my head on the edge of the tub and blacked out for a moment.

The day I looked at him and told him he would never see me again.

The day I took control of things.

The day I turned around and walked away.

The day that potentially saved my life.

The day I have held close inside and have shared with very few.

Today I share it with you.

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About Susan D.

Single mother of three. Teacher. Amateur Jewelry Designer. Singer. Hack writer. Trying to keep sane - as well as I can.

14 responses »

  1. Courage is stepping out of your fear or comfort zone & growing.

    Reply
  2. I’m glad you had the courage to carry out your 180 degree turn. You were very brave.

    Reply
  3. Thank you for sharing such an intense and traumatic experience with me. It isn’t easy to let out those things that have impacted us on such a deep level, but I am so glad you have. People need to hear these stories! Women need to know that they can and should walk away from an abusive and controlling relationship. You deserved better. Good job on that 180.

    Reply
    • Thank you. As what frequently happens when I write, I don’t always have an idea of what exactly is going to come out. I am not sure if my Conscious Mind was working I would have written it…

      Reply
  4. Pingback: Daily Prompt: 180 Degrees | Joe's Musings

  5. Woaa ill be honest at the start i was like here we go “Attention Seekin”. But holy crap i am so sorry an i take it bak truely as i read more my heart felt for ya 😉 u are a brave & Wise Girl Stay Strong thanx an Words mean 0 to Actions

    Reply
  6. It’s hard to argue with a 17-year old brain 🙂 Anyhoo, I’m a little late in this topic but wanted to throw my two bits all the same – hope you can stop by my place soon. cheers!

    Reply
  7. Pingback: When Your Past Comes Screaming into Your Present… | Happy Monkey Land and Other Musings on Life

  8. Pingback: Prince Saved My Life | Happy Monkey Land and Other Musings on Life

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