Tell us about a time you did a 180 — changed your views on something, reversed a decision, or acted in a way you ordinarily don’t.
Isn’t it funny how the faceless word of blogging can give you the courage to reveal things that you haven’t told many people in your life? This is one of those things.
My senior year of high school, I dated a very very bad man. He was controlling, even taking a job at the same place I was working so he could keep an eye on me. For just about the whole time he and I were “together,” he was also “going with” another girl. A freshman. And of course, all of her friends took it out on me. At the same time, he was already planning my entire future. He was emotionally abusive, threatening to kill himself if I ever left him.
It was the worst time of my life.
Yet, for some reason, I didn’t “break-up” with him. I loved him. Or what I perceived was love in my 17 year-old brain. And I was terrified of what he could do. I believed all his threats to his own safety.
He was threatened by my going away to college. As the time drew closer, he grew increasingly more controlling. He frequently would tell me that he would not allow me to go. I began to be worried for my safety. But, I told him that of course we would stay together. That I’d be home for breaks. That he could visit me. That we could make it work.
Then came the day of my 180 turn.
The day I knew I had to get out of the relationship.
Four days before I was to leave for college.
The day he attempted to slit his wrists – in front of me – as an attempt to get me to stay.
The day, when as I was trying to stop him from doing it, he shoved me and I fell backwards and knocked my head on the edge of the tub and blacked out for a moment.
The day I looked at him and told him he would never see me again.
The day I took control of things.
The day I turned around and walked away.
The day that potentially saved my life.
The day I have held close inside and have shared with very few.
Today I share it with you.