As I am sure many of my fellow bloggers can attest, I am addicted to the stats page for Happy Monkey Land. You know. The one that tells you how many views you’ve had in a day, which countries they hail from, and how – exactly – they managed to stumble upon your ramblings.
I am particularly fascinated by the search terms that are typed in to various search engines that somehow manage to lure a reader to my musings. Not because I want to “tailor” my writing so as to draw in more folks – but, because some of them are down right funny. Hysterical, even.
Here is a sampling of my favorites –
Dysfunction monkey. Sounds kinda like Conjunction Junction. “Dysfunction monkey, what’s your function?”
4 letter word for “without change.” Me thinks someone was trying to cheat on a crossword…
Monkey writing good words peam. Nope. Not a typo on my part. What in the hell is a peam?
What are the swirly vortexes in candy crush saga? I kid you not. Maybe that reader could tell me how to beat the level on which I am currently stuck.
My kids love happy monkey. Well, yes. Yes they do. Particularly a happy Mommy Monkey.
Guess the word bungee cord 4 letters. Again…CHEATERS! Figure it out for yourself, why don’t ya!?!
Could picking off shingles scab cause a rehash of shingles. I do hope that reader figured out my blog is not a place to go to look for medical advice. I’m not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV.
But perhaps my all time favorite is one that popped up today. This phrase, unbeknownst to the searcher, pretty much sums up life here in Happy Monkey Land…
Monkey that gets distracted by shiny objects. Well, in our house it is actually FOUR monkeys that get distracted by shiny objects (that don’t even really have to be all that shiny to serve as a distraction… SQUIRREL!). The Three Monkeys thought it to be tres funny.
I did my own search to see which post would come up. Turns out it was The Cleaning Bug, written about The Girl Child and the cleaning jag she has been on. When I informed her thusly, she proclaimed, “YES! The post about ME came up! I’m FAMOUS!” (Drama queen, anyone?)
Poor little thing. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that one of the posts about her brothers, My Little Bronies: Brotherhood is Magic, had by far the most search terms linked to it. Who knew so many people were searching for all things My Little Pony? Not I.
Hey! Know what this has put me in the mood for?
Popping on to my favorite search engine (that would be Bing, my friends) and just start typing in random strings of words. Just to see what pops up.
But, no matter what I find, I am sure it will not be any where NEARLY as awesome as life here in Happy Monkey Land.