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Dear 2012: I think we need to break up.

Dear 2012,

I am not sure what it is that I am looking for in a calendar year, but I do know it wasn’t you.  So, because of this, I am afraid we must end our relationship with each other.  I wish I could say that I am sad to see you go. But, I’m not.

I understand you must be going through a very difficult time.  It must be hard to know you have an expiration date.  You only have a short 365 days (or in this case, 366 days) to make an impact on my life.  You wanted every moment to count.  But, I am afraid I need more than what you have to offer me.  So, after this 366 days together, I find I must say good-bye to you.

It’s not you.  It’s me.

You and I had a very mercurial relationship.  You were filled with soaring highs and crushing lows.  You were like a roller coaster.  In one instance you were THRILLING and I couldn’t get enough of you – and in the next you plunged me into the depths, bringing bile into my mouth as I willed the nausea to stop.  At times I was begging for the ride to go HIGHER and FASTER and at others I was begging to get off.  But, just like on a roller coaster, I was strapped into you, my dear 2012, until the ride was over.  There was no getting off early.  No matter how much I begged.

Unfortunately, 2012 you will be remembered for your lows.  Although, I must say, the highs were some of the most amazing experiences in my life.  Ones I will not soon forget.  Ones filled with love and joy and happiness and breath-taking adventures.  You just didn’t finish well.  And it doesn’t matter how brilliant you are in the middle, it’s how you finish that really matters.

So, 2012, know you made a profound impact on my life.  But, I am ready to see what else there is out there for me.  I’m not saying 2013 will be any better.   I have to give it a chance.  I owe it to myself.

Farewell, 2012.

Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.