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Tag Archives: friendship

Wedding Wishes

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There’s a song in the musical Wicked in which Glinda and Ephelba sing about how meeting one another has changed their lives (“For Good”). In it Glinda sings:

I’ve heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
(Lyrics by Stephen Schwartz)

People come and people go – and if we are lucky, they come back.  If we are very lucky.

When LeaTreacia came into my life, she was the ripe old age of nine – bubbly, full of laughter, exuding joy, and oh so wise for her years. My mother was teaching at Treace’s school and had been assigned to be her mentor. Before too long, I was brought into the mix, and it was love at first meeting. I adored her. We would take her on outings, and eventually she would come to our house for weekends. She filled our house with her exuberance. She was the little sister I had always wanted. We were two peas in a pod.

As the years passed, our bond grew tighter. When it was time for Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, I brought her – after all, she was the closest thing I had to one. She was there when the Monkey Daddy proposed (well, the night he surprised me with my ring…another story for another time). And when it came time for my wedding, I knew she had to be a part of it. She was my junior bridesmaid.

LeaTreacia and I at my wedding

LeaTreacia and me at my wedding

Smooches

Smooches – also known as how to embarrass a teenager in a picture.

I loved her.  More than a little sister.  I loved her like a mother loves a child.  She was a part of me.  And I was a part of her.   We knew we were in this for life.

I lost track of her when she left for college.  She and I haven’t spoken about why it happened, but it did.  I was a new mother.  She was miles and miles away.   And life happened.  But there was always a hole in my heart.  A LeaTreacia size one.  I never stopped wondering about her.  I would try, desperately, to find her.  I had to know she was ok.   I knew in my heart that one day I would find her.   And through the miracle that is Facebook, one day it happened.  There she was.  My girl.  All grown up, but there was my girl.

Today, she got married.  I was to be there.  I was going to drive the eight hours from Atlanta to Indianapolis and I was going to be there.  She needed me there – and I needed to be there.  The years of separation didn’t matter.  All that mattered was that my girl was getting married, and damn it I was going to be there.

And as much as it killed me, last week I had to tell her that I was not going to be able to come.  I cried as I told her.  I cried because sometimes life is so damn unfair.  I cried because I felt that once again someone she loves let her down.   I cried because I wanted to be there to see for myself that she was ok.  I cried because I love her and wanted to be there to share in her joy.  I cried because, well…because I cried.

And I cried again today, at the time the wedding was to start, because I wasn’t there crying tears of happiness.

So, my dear LeaTreacia, (with tears streaming down my cheeks) I want to say here’s to your wedding day.  I wish you all the happiness you have always deserved, and yet sometimes found out of your grasp.  I wish you someone who appreciates and understands all the things that make you you.   I wish you years of joy and only moments of sorrow.

But mostly, I want you to know this:

I’ll love you forever, I’ll love you for always, as long as I’m living, my Treace you’ll be.

Happy wedding day, my sweet girl.  Best wishes on this new journey.  It can be smooth.  It can be bumpy.  But like a roller coaster, it’s a hell of a ride.  Hang on tight and enjoy the trip.

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Never Can Say Good-bye

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I am sure I am not alone in this, but, saying good-bye to someone is incredibly hard for me.  Thoughts of everything I wanted to say, but never did, come flooding into my mind.  Swirling around.  Bouncing into one another.  It doesn’t help that I am a rather emotional person.  So, when the words start bouncing – the tears start to come – and I end up not saying what I should.

In the next few days, I am going to have to say good-bye to one of the most important people in my life.  But, I can’t.

For 15 years, I have worked with Kimber.  And in those 15 years, she has become so much more than just a co-worker.  She has become one of my very best friends.  And now, she is moving.  To Texas.   Half way across the country.  And I feel as if a part of me is moving away, too.

I have been in denial about it since she told me about it in January – refusing to admit it was actually going to happen.  Yet, here we are.  No matter how much wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin’ and prayin’ I did – she is still going to be leaving.

For 15 years, we have had lunch together nearly every day (with the exception of the years when our lunches were scheduled too far apart).  We became friends while I was still single.  She supported me through my wedding.  Shared my joy in each of my pregnancies.  Loved my children almost as much as I do.  Taught two of them.  Held my hand as I made the decision to get divorced.  Listened to my stories of beginning to date again.  Felt my excitement when I thought I had found my forever love, and then held me as I cried when that relationship ended.

When money was tight – she would just hand me a check, or a grocery store gift card.

When I have been so busy with things I haven’t been able to breathe – she has quietly brought homemade dinners for my children.

She has picked up clothes for me – just because she thought I would look cute in it.

Each time she simply says, “I hope this blesses you.”  And each time it has.  More than I have been able to say.

Not that everything is heart and flowers.  We have VERY differing opinions about some very important things – namely politics.  But, we have learned to STAY AWAY from those topics.  And when we do get into a heated discussion about things, we don’t let it destroy our friendship.

In these 15 years, she has become far more than just a friend.  She has become part of my family.

Monday, her students threw a “surprise” going away party for her, and my class and I were invited over for it.  The whole time I was fighting the tears, because once I started crying, it was going to be an UH-GUH-LEE cry.  One of my very astute students came up to me and said, “You know, I have always seen you two more as sisters than just friends.”  How right she was.  Kimber has become far more than just  a friend.  She has become the big sister I always wanted.  And I love her as much as if she had been.

I believe God puts some people in your life for a reason.  Those people who leave you changed for good.  And I believe Kimber is one such person.

I know in my heart, our friendship is not over.

I know in my heart, she will be a part of me forever.

So, with tear streaming down my cheeks, I say good-bye my dear dear friend.  Thank you for being a part of my life.  Thank you for every little thing that I may have forgotten to say thank you for.

I love you, my dear friend.

Bon voyage.