There. I’ve said it. Being a mother can suck.
Please understand, I am not saying that it sucks to be a mother. I love the monkeys with all my heart and soul. But, there are times when it sucks to be the mommy.
This morning was one of those times. One of those mornings when I wanted to throw in the towel and just give up. One of those mornings when I want to call the Monkey Daddy or the Nonna Monkey (my own mother) and admit my defeat and beg for them to simply raise them. One of those mornings when I found myself envious of the childless.
Even as I write this, I understand how horrible that sounds. I understand there are those who are childless who desperately want to not be. I understand there are those that due to custody issues would kill to have time with their children. I understand there are those who as they read this are looking up the number for Child Protective Services.
But, I also understand there are those who as they read this are thinking, “Finally! Someone who has the guts to say it!”
This morning I found myself asking what I had done to deserve this. What kind of bad Karma I had brought upon myself? What god had I angered to incur such a punishment? And for how long was I to endure it?
I felt like Nancy Kerrigan, after she had been whacked on the knee, crying out to the heavens, “Why? Why? Why me?”
And the question wasn’t just rhetorical. I really wanted an answer, damn it!
Alas. None came. And I am fairly confident none will come.
So, I’ll say it again. Sometimes motherhood sucks.
But, I also know that when the Middle Monkey comes and sits next to me after Sunday School, he will snuggle up next to me, and say in that sweet little lisp, “I am sorry for screaming at you this morning. I love you.”
And my heart will melt and I once again be reminded how much I love him and all will be right with the world.
At least until the next time.