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Tag Archives: poetry

Crossroads

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I am standing at a crossroads.

Unsure as to which path to choose.

One path leads to a familiar land.

A land once filled with joy.

But, in more recent times, it is a land consumed with anger and frustration.

The other path is completely unknown.

I have no idea where it leads.

One false step and I lose everything.

Or, by choosing that path –

That path to uncertainty –

I could find myself

On the road

To

Happiness.

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AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!


I swear, today was one of those days when I just want to walk out and not look back.

One of those days when I feel like it doesn’t really matter what I do, I will end up being screwed in the end.

One of those days when I wanted to step outside and scream at the top of my lungs.

One of those days when I wanted to come home, crawl in my bed, pull my comforter over my head, and never come out.

One of those days when it is all too easy to forget why I keep going every day, why I keep giving it my best, why I keep caring.

I am so tired of the politics of it all.

I am so tired of that helpless feeling of being completely out of control.

I am so tired of jumping through hoops that just keep getting higher and higher.

I need to find my joy.

I just have no idea where it is hiding.

Come out, come out, where ever you are.

Absolution


I harbored the pain
Inside my heart
Allowing it to grow –
to fester –
Until it consumed my soul.
Unwilling to permit it to ebb
Forcing it to flow once again
Until it drowned my thoughts.

Releasing the pain meant –
Releasing you,
Releasing us,
Releasing what we were,
Releasing what we were to be.

Releasing my pain meant –
Releasing you,
Releasing your guilt,
For what we never would be again.

My pain –
Your guilt –
Became our life line
Keeping us tethered
Unable to rejoin the past,
Yet
Unable to move forward.

Only in allowing the pain to ebb –
Only in severing the bond –
Only in releasing you –
Can true healing come.

So-
I offer you forgiveness
For my pain.
I offer you freedom
From our ties.
I offer you absolution
From your guilt.
And the peace that can only come
From
Release.

Deja vu

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I have been here before

Standing on the edge of the cliff

Questions swirling around in my brain

Trying to muster the nerve to jump

 

I have been here before

Standing on the edge of the cliff

Feeling the nervous excitement

Willing myself to not jump to soon

 

I have been here before

Standing on the edge of this cliff

But the last time

I barely survived

The end nearly killed me

 

So

As I have been here before

Standing on the edge of this cliff

Gazing at the ride before me

I am

Terrified

Scorned

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You think you were wronged

The woman scorned

You

The one who

Chose your own fate

You wanted to win

Get everything you demanded

But for you to win

Someone had to lose

For in every battle

There is never a draw

Only a winner

And

A loser

Victorious

You stand in judgment

Of all in your path

Gaze fixed on

Me

The one who lost

The one who lost everything

Yet

You think you were wronged

The woman scorned

You

Who retained everything

And

Me

Left only with

Shattered pieces

Of what was to be

The Wish

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I wish I knew

What was going on in my head.

I wish I knew

What to make of all of it.

I wish I knew.

 

I wish I knew

What was going on in my heart.

I wish I knew

What is making it beat.

I wish I knew.

 

I wish I knew…

 

It’s Complicated

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You ask if it is difficult.

It’s not, is my reply.

You ask if it’s too hard.

Not for me, I say to you.

You say it isn’t easy.

Yet, here we are, my dear.

So –

No, it isn’t difficult.

Nor is it too hard.

And yes it may not be easy,

This thing we’ve come to be.

What this is – is convoluted.

What this is  – is complex.

What this  is – is complicated.

Until it ceases to be anymore.